Sleeping giant

Sleeping Giant

Day in and day out, we turn on the news to hear about the most recent school shooting, stabbing on a metro platform or workplace violence.   A majority of times the story goes like this.... "We'll my [son, daughter, husband] was depressed or suicidal or was bullied" and that was their moment to snap.... A release of something bottled up far more than any person could understand, unless of course, you are one suffering from a mental illness- the sleeping giant.

Mental illness has long been a taboo in this country- back from when lobotomies were the norm and electric shock was just something that would hopefully make a person "normal".  Medicine has come a ways to bring us to where we are today and so many discoveries of the human mind have been made, yet so much remains a mystery.  Today, 26.2% or 1 in 4 Americans suffer from some sort of mental illness (National Institute of Mental Health).  This may include depression, ADHD, food disorder, anxiety, PTSD and even Autism, to name a few.

Fear remains in that many are afraid to speak out of their potential illness because of others reaction and the taboo that comes with it.  Facing the issues head on and speaking to someone is a must.  Recently, my father was admitted into the hospital due to suicidal ideations and hallucinations.  My dad has suffered many years as a diabetic, victim of two strokes and for the past four years dialysis.  I have watched a strong, stout man wither away to skin and bones, yet he has never lost his sense of humor.  His body is exhausted and his idea of a way out is to take his life, a decision that he has always seen as something cowardly to do.  The toll is not only on my dad but those who have suffered alongside him our entire lives- my brother, mom and I.  Only we, and those who are caretakers, know how good and bad life was as we stayed up late and made numerous runs in and out of hospitals.   You become numb the the hospitals, to the sickness and even the though of ultimate death of your loved ones.

My dad worked his fingers to the bone, day in and day out trying to make ends meet.  He is a 8 year veteran of the Army National Guard and that is where his hallucinations come from.  He explains that his training was so real that that had mortars, practiced what I t would be like to be a POW and how to survive during war.  It is these trainings that haunt him today.   He sees and talks to his platoon, writes orders to give to his commander and when he hears a noise that sounds like a grenade or mortar, wants to take cover.   Yet, he is not seen as a veteran by VA and doctors refuse to diagnose him with any type of PTSD.

We are lucky, in that my dad is still with us today and decided to ask for help rather than remain silent.   He is receiving help one day at a time and fishing and the outdoors helps calm his mind.  The struggle is far from over but it took those 2 minutes to gather the courage to ask for help that has saved his life for now.

I write this not to seek pity for my family or father, because we are one of many.  I write in hopes of encouraging others with similar conditions to save their life and ask or seek help.  You can be helped and there is help,if you're willing to take it.

Sources: National Institute of Mental Health - http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/the-numbers-count-mental-disorders-in-america/index.shtml